I’m so happy because today I found my friends – they’re in my head.

- Kurt Cobain

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

- Ann Landers

Games make us as happy as zombies!!!!!!

turn into this:

I'm going to kill you!!!!

Apparently all it takes is a 14-year-old Russian boy and an affinity for playing computer games until the fingers go numb.

In the small village of Tuapse, a young boy destroyed his fathers head with a sledgehammer when his computer keyboard was taken away as punishment for playing computer games all day and all night. Around 1:00am, the minor crept into his parents room and bashed his father’s face in with a sledgehammer as retaliation for taking the keyboard.

Creepy, right? Not yet. Check out the rest of the story after the jump.

After the skull-bashing, the mother gave back the keyboard. That’s right, she basically hung out until the kid tired himself out with his freshly acquired gaming system.

Your skull bashing kept me up all night!

Once the kid tired himself out and fell asleep, the mother called relatives. They, in turn, called the police.

Happy ending, right?

I just wonder what she did with her time while her husband decomposed and her kid played SimCity.

Remember that time you accidentally destroyed a priceless piece of art? Neither do I.

The same can not be said for the woman who stumbled at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and tore a little rip into a Picasso piece. A 6-foot 4-inch work titled “The Actor.”

dead sexy

Museum officials believe the repair on the six-inch rip will be “unobtrusive.” Which is good, since the work is supposed to be part of a 250-piece exhibit in April.

Details on the woman are still sketchy. All that is known at this point is that she’s not to be trusted around grandma’s fine china.

If you don’t know know who Tommy Lee is, you’re probably better off for it. For those of us who do, all we have left is our good sense to mock him. That being said, here’s Will Forte doing just that by simply reading a Mötley Crüe autobiography aloud.

Check it out after the jump.

 ”That whole period of a lot of people’s lives was fairly muddied by heroin. It’s in that place. A lot of stuff was at that time. I was going through hell at that time. I was having panic attacks. I went on a fantastic voyage of discovery. I spent a lot of time in Africa just getting to know people… and getting very, very stoned.”

- Damon Albarn, on the rock documentary No Distance Left To Run, confessing that during Blur’s Britpop success in the 90s, the band had become mixed up with drugs.

Jimmy Lee Lindsey, Jr. – better known as Jay Reatard – was found dead in his home in Memphis on Wednesday. The veteran garage rocker and face kicker was found by a friend after compaining of “flu-like symptoms.”

All we’re left with after this surprising death are his albums – specifically, Blood Visions.

Perhaps Ted Leo put it best:

“Man, I gotta say, this Jay Reatard news is really hitting me weirdly hard. I’d only met him a couple of times, but… Ugh. Weird. And sad … Let’s just take it easy with the jumping to conclusions and have a little respect, huh? Regardless of how it happened, it happened.”

Until all of the details have come out, we can at least remember him through his music.

After the jump, check out Jay doing “DOA.”

That being said, this bitch is insane. There’s nothing I could write that would prepare you for this, so just sit back and turn the speakers UP.

When I broke up the group, just like if you break up with a girl after seven years, you start over and get to the core of things. What did I learn from them and how do I want to change my life and how do I move forward from here?

- Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, Mars Volta

The PETA people are gonna love this.

Before Heath Ledger died his untimely death, he directed a little video for Modest Mouse‘s song, King Rat. It happens to be a cartoon, but don’t let that fool you. This is torture porn set to music.

It begins simply enough, with anthropomorphic whales manning a large whaling ship (you can maybe see where this is going). All of this is done to a very sea chanty-esque lilt. Eventually, however, the serenity becomes horror when the song takes a hard, distorted turn in the third act and you realize these whales are whaling people!! How clever!!

Anyhoo, I have no idea what this says about Heath Ledger. And it only reinforces what I always thought about Modest Mouse: they’re weird.

Video and cartoonish mayhem after the jump.

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